Curves (Sunday Scribblings #113)

How appropriate that the prompt is curves. The last entry I wrote was about picking the positive side of things, not the negative. It didn't go quite as planned.
The week before that my car had died. Kaput. I had it towed to my mechanic who told me my timing belt had snapped and broken my water pump and yanked another belt when it broke. It took pretty much all the money I don't have to fix it. But the week after all that happened is when I wrote the entry. I made the decision and woke up the next day feeling happy. Things went well until Sunday night when I went to the store. I went in, grabbed what I needed and checked out. Went out to my car, turned my key and my car barely started and was running extremely rough. I look down and my check engine light is not only on its flashing at me. It was 2 am so I had to drive it home, praying all the way. I broke every traffic law there is. I cried for a while about it. So Monday I put my car into the shop, go to work and my dad calls. My insurance has decided not to cover my dentist stuff that I have planned for next month. Then a machine I need for my job breaks. I'm standing in my office about to lose it. Thats when I realize... this is my test! All this stuff is so small in the grand scheme of things. Work can wait until the machine is up and I have a dozen people willing to help me get from home to work and back. Me stressing myself out only causes problems, it doesn't solve anything. I have to try to get past the bad.
That afternoon, my mechanic calls and tells me whats wrong and says he isn't going to charge me labor, just the part fee. It was still money I didn't really have but life goes on. My machine wasn't fixed that day but by some weird coincidence there was an issue with the job I was supposed to do and the extra time was needed to fix it.
Obviously its extremely hard to only look at the good. Sometimes we need to see the whole picture. But when I took a step back and realize the stress isn't worth it things were able to work themselves out.
Two weeks ago my doctor put me on Prozac to help with my anxiety. I know it hasn't really taken effect yet but theres an odd sense of peace brewing. I went to a bonfire with the boys last weekend for the first time and had a blast. Instead of worrying about panic attacks or whatever, I put it out of my head and just decided to have a good time. I won't always be so optimistic, I'm sure something else will come along that's gonna set me off. My goal is to just be able to step back and look at the big picture, not just the little piece right in front of me. And thats all anyone can ask for I suppose.